Subject: Life (Page 18)

I hate reality… but nevertheless, it’s still the only place to get a good steak.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

(1929 – ) American writer

Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright

Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

Drama is life with the dull bits left out.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

We’re all going down the same road in different directions.

Always do right; this will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Dying is no big deal, living is the trick.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I can take reality in small doses, but not as a life style.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

(1908 – 1999) English writer

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore; it is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist