Subject: Life (Page 9)

As you slide down the banister of life, you are bound to pick up a splinter or two in your arse.

Australian horse trainer
Life

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life Science/Weather

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Life Situations Sleep

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Death Food/Drink Life

Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.

(1899 – 1986) American writer, journalist & cartoonist
Life

We just had a near – life experience!

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Life Situations

Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle.

(1828 – 1885) French novelist, publicist & journalist
Conflict Life Marriage

Kids: get away from the cell phones, get away from the computers, and mail someone a fish before it’s too late.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Life

We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out f**king albums.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Life

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Emotions Life

I expect to pass through this world but once and therefore if there is anybody I want to kick in the crotch I had better kick them in the crotch now, for I do not expect to pass this way again.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Life

If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it!

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor
Life

To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Intelligence Life

I ordered a wake-up call the other day – the phone rang and a woman’s voice said, ‘What the heck are you doing with your life?’

Life

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Life

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Eating Fights Food/Drink Life Success

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Life Science/Weather

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life