Subject: Marriage » Husbands (Page 2)

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Money Wives

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband; how about short and cheap?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Beliefs Husbands Opinion

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fools Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wives

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Husbands Marriage Wives

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Husbands Marriage

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Every girl dreams, when they grow up, they’re gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer; but me, I had to marry the only lawyer in America with a conscience.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Government Husbands Law Lawyers Marriage

I never married because there was no need: I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband – I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

(1855 – 1924) English writer
Animals Cats Husbands Marriage

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Future Husbands Marriage Proverbs Time Wives

I’m still friends with all my ex’s, apart from my husbands.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Divorce Husbands Marriage

I understand that many newlyweds are vacationing here (Niagara Falls)… I suppose seeing the falls was their second biggest disappointment.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives