Subject: Marriage (Page 10)

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful invention; then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Marriage

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

I was married twice; my first wife died and my second one wouldn't.

(1955 – ) American comedian
Death Marriage

The guy I fell in love with had an easy going spirit with a fast car; but he wouldn't marry me, so I ended up with you.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Husbands Marriage

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Divorce Government Lawyers Marriage Taxes

You know that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Marriage Sex

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

(1927 – ) American actress
Husbands Marriage People

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

Animals Cats Classifieds Husbands Marriage

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Marriage

I don't care if she doesn't know how to cook – so long as she doesn't know a good lawyer.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Lawyers Marriage

Catholics don't get divorced; they stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Religion

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage Sex

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Money Speech

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence; when men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.


(1943 – ) American psychologist, author
Marriage Men People Situations Women