Subject: Marriage (Page 16)

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Marriage Sex

Marriage is like a bank account: you put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

(1914 – ) American comic & actor
Marriage

I heard from my cat’s lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Divorce Marriage

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Marriage

Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them continues to pay for it.

(1893 – 1957) American actress & celebrity
Marriage Mistakes Money

My mother married a very good man… and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Appearance Clothing Marriage

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Marriage

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home… there's always something.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Marriage People

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Marriage

To my darling wife – roses are red, violets are blue, Valentines Day is consumerist rubbish, don’t you have some ironing to do?

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Marriage Wives

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay

Marriage ceremony: An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.

Definitions Marriage

A fate worse than marriage; a sort of eternal engagement.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Marriage

From Here To Maternity

Marriage Signs

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Life Marriage