Subject: Marriage (Page 16)

Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

Definitions Marriage

My fiancé and I are having a little disagreement; what I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.


Dating Marriage Relationships

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Books Communication Emotions Love Marriage Reading/Writing

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Health Marriage Wives

Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.

Marriage

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

My grandmother buried three husbands… and two of them were only napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Marriage Relationships

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Marriage

All weddings, except those with shotguns in evidence, are wonderful.

(1923 – ) American journalist & gossip columnist
Marriage

I told my doctor I think my wife has V.D.; he gave himself a shot of penicillin.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Marriage Wives

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Marriage

The longest sentence you can form with two words is “I do.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage

I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.

(1894 – 1988) American journalist, novelist & screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Women

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Divorce Marriage Money Time

My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine.

Jim Jordan (1896 – 1988) American radio comedian (of Fibber McGee & Molly)
Communication Marriage Speech

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Life Marriage Wives

It was a mixed marriage… I’m human, and he was a Klingon.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Marriage People

I was the best man at the wedding; if I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Marriage

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives