Subject: Marriage (Page 17)

‘Tis my maxim he’s a fool that marries, but he’s a greater that does not marry a fool.

(c. 1641 – 1716) English dramatist
Marriage

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Marriage

The bride’s family sat on this side, and the groom’s family sat on that side ’cause of the restraining order.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Marriage

I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Husbands Marriage Wives

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Future Husbands Marriage Proverbs Time Wives

You know what I did before I married? … anything I wanted to.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage

I wish them a long and happy life; if it’s as long as their wedding, I’m sure they’ll be fine.

(1943 – ) English comedian, writer, television host & actor
Marriage

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
Marriage Sex

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist
Marriage

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Age Marriage Wives

Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer
Death Marriage

I think – therefore I'm single.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Intelligence Marriage

Most women use more brains picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Husbands Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Alimony: A splitting headache.

Definitions Marriage

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

Elton Takes David Up the Aisle

Headlines Marriage

Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Divorce Marriage