Subject: Marriage (Page 19)

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.

(1982 – ) American author
Marriage Wives

Generally speaking, my wife is generally speaking.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Harpo, she's a lovely person – she deserves a good husband; marry her before she finds one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Marriage People

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Marriage People

You know what I did before I married? … anything I wanted to.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Always get married early in the morning; that way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

(1920 – 2014) American actor & entertainer
Divorce Marriage

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

If he's stuck with the shrew, I hope he screws everything that's not tied down.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Marriage Sex

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Characteristics Government Honesty Marriage Politicians Truth

I've sometimes thought of marrying – and then I've thought again.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Marriage

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

(1954 – ) Australian author
Marriage

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Marriage

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Marriage

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I married beneath me – all women do.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Marriage Women

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Men People Women

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work