Subject: Marriage (Page 2)

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Autos Driving Marriage Wives

I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Husbands Marriage Wives

The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women; it's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Marriage

When you marry your mistress you create a job vacancy.

(1933 – 1997) Anglo-French billionaire financier
Marriage

My wife has cut me down to once a month; I'm lucky…
I know two guys she cut off completely.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Gay people should be allowed to get married; just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us.

comedian
Marriage

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn’t work on auto-pilot and it’s very difficult to have sex in.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Marriage Sex

I am a very committed wife, and I should be committed too – for being married so many times.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Marriage Self Wives

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Divorce Marriage Sex Things

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Marriage

I’ve been married for 10 years… I haven’t made a decision for seven.

(1973 – ) English comedian
Marriage

Wedding Ring: A one-man band.

Definitions Marriage

Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Definitions Marriage

Group sex… are you kidding, I had group sex… my wife screwed me in front of the jury.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Sex Wives

Don’t forget Mother’s Day; or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Divorce Family Marriage Mothers

We’ve been married 21 years – 100 with the windchill factor.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Marriage

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage