Subject: Marriage (Page 24)

The marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ‘em still two fools.

(1670 – 1729) English playwright & poet
Marriage

Marriage always demands the finest arts of insincerity possible between two human beings."

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Characteristics Marriage

Al, when I married you for richer or poorer, I thought we'd try one and then the other and then choose. I think we've gone just about as far as we can go with the first one.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Communication Marriage Reading/Writing

Harpo, she's a lovely person – she deserves a good husband; marry her before she finds one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Marriage People

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Divorce Marriage Sex Things

My wife has cut me down to once a month; I'm lucky…
I know two guys she cut off completely.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Characteristics Marriage

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Marriage

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Emotions Happiness Marriage

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage Wives

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Emotions Government Law Lawyers Marriage

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Divorce Marriage

Having one wife is called monotony.

Malaprops Marriage

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.

(1982 – ) American author
Marriage Wives

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(1921 – 1995) American actress
Husbands Marriage Wives