Subject: Marriage (Page 25)

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Appearance Clothing Marriage

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Marriage

My wife was fitted with a coil… she used to pick up CB signals.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Marriage Wives

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

I had to go by the drug store to get some marital aids: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window; you may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Appearance Clothing Marriage Shopping

American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing Husbands People Rednecks

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Divorce Marriage

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Marriage People

You might be a redneck if… your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Wives

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

Conflict Headlines Wives

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Marriage Proverbs War

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

Housework Husbands Murphy’s Laws Wives

Marriage is like a bank account: you put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

(1914 – ) American comic & actor
Marriage

Here's to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage People Wives Women