Subject: Marriage (Page 27)

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir; it merely mummifies its corpse.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Marriage

After five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Divorce Marriage

Gay people should be allowed to get married; just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us.

comedian
Marriage

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

(1772 – 1834) English poet, literary critic & philosopher
Marriage

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

(1894 – 1967) English heir, New York socialite (married 13 times)
Divorce Marriage

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Men enter politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.

(1909 – 1993) British naval historian & author
Government Marriage Politics

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Animals Marriage

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales
Marriage

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

golf journalist
Golf Marriage Sports

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Marriage

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

Getting married is like buying a new horse, or going into a strange saloon.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

You have to remember: the wife has been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces… sometimes the opposite.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Marriage Wives

When I meet a beautiful girl, the first thing I say is 'will you marry me? … the second thing I say is, 'how do you do?”

(1894 – 1967) English heir, New York socialite (married 13 times)
Marriage People Women

Half of all marriage end in divorce – and then there are the unhappy ones.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Divorce Marriage