Subject: Marriage (Page 29)

Wayne Carter: Aren’t you forgetting that you’re married?

Flower Belle: I’m doin’ my best.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Men People Women

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Marriage People

Why go out for milk when you've got a cow at home.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English Language; ‘I do’ is the longest.

Marriage

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Divorce Marriage Sex

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

[Marriage] is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Marriage

The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Characteristics Marriage

I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Husbands Men People Success Wives Women

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Marriage Men People

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Marriage Wives

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Marriage Success Wives

A woman I know is engaged to a real golf nut.  They are supposed to get married next Saturday…but only if it rains.

Golf Marriage Sports

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Bigamist: A man who keeps two himself.

Definitions Marriage

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

I am a marvelous housekeeper; every time I leave a man I keep his house.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Divorce Housework Marriage