Subject: Marriage (Page 3)

Harpo, she's a lovely person – she deserves a good husband; marry her before she finds one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Marriage People

Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Divorce Marriage

I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Husbands Marriage Wives

I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Divorce Marriage

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window; you may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Appearance Clothing Marriage Shopping

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

My mother married a very good man… and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher!"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

The guy I fell in love with had an easy going spirit with a fast car; but he wouldn't marry me, so I ended up with you.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Insurance is like marriage – you pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

American entrepreneur & author
Intelligence Marriage Memory Wives

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage Wives

Marriage is a wonderful invention; then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Marriage

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

Marriage Proverbs

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Divorce Government Lawyers Marriage Taxes

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

I’ve never won an argument with her; and the only times I thought I had, I found out the argument wasn’t over yet.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Wives

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives