Subject: Marriage (Page 30)

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Divorce Marriage

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Marriage Wives

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

I won't tell you how many times my dad has been married, but if they were sandwiches, his next one would be free.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage

He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Marriage

This is my second marriage, and I have a kid from my first marriage 'cause I like souvenirs.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Children Marriage

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Many a man's lost his best friend by marrying her.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men People Women

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Health Wives

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me… no one showed up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Family Marriage Parents

The longest sentence you can form with two words is “I do.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Wives

I think we explored the further reaches of “for better or for worse.”

(1944 – ) British scientist
Marriage