Subject: Marriage (Page 31)

Even in civilized mankind, faint traces of monogamous instinct can be perceived.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Marriage

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Marriage

Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

(1888 – 1973) American pioneer in the study of psychiatry
Emotions Love Marriage

She admitted to me recently that when she first met me, she didn't really like me very much; but luckily for me, she really wanted to stay in this country.

comedian
Marriage Wives

Marriage is better than leprosy because it’s easier to get rid of.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Marriage Mistakes

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

author
Husbands Marriage Problems

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Husbands Marriage People Wives

My wife converted me to religion; I never believed in hell until I married her.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Beliefs Marriage Religion Wives

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn’t work on auto-pilot and it’s very difficult to have sex in.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Marriage Sex

Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Insults Marriage Sex

I’ve been married four years now and it’s getting pretty serious.

American comedian
Marriage

Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's been givin’ me lately.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sex

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

One night I figured – let my wife make the first move… she went to Florida.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand; she lit it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

(1925 – 2010) American humorist & writer
Appearance Clothing Marriage