Subject: Marriage (Page 31)

Marriage is like having cable with one channel.

(Nathaniel Stroman) (1963 – ) American actor, voice artist & comedian
Entertainment Marriage Television

After a while, marriage is a sibling relationship – marked by occasional and rather regrettable, episodes of incest.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Marriage

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing Husbands People Rednecks

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

(1799 – 1850) French novelist & playwright
Marriage

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Husbands Marriage

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Husbands Marriage People

The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women; it's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Marriage

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage

One time I went to a hotel; I asked the bellhop to handle my bag; he felt up my wife!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Husbands Marriage

Gregory: Rose, I love you and I… I want to be married to you.
Rose: Gregory, You are married to me.
Gregory: Uh… that’s right!

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Engagement: A period in which a girl is placed in solitaire confinement.

Definitions Marriage

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

Marriage Proverbs

All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Problems

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Marriage

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage People Situations

It would have been a wonderful wedding – had it not been mine.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Marriage People Self

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

Expressions Marriage

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage