Subject: Marriage (Page 32)

Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Marriage

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?

(1942 – 1999) American actress
Husbands TV/Movie Quotes

My wife gets all the money I make… I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Marriage Wives

I thought when I was 41, I would be married with kids… well, to be honest I thought I would be married with weekend access.

(1965 – ) British-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Children Family Marriage

Many a man who misses an anniversary catches it later.

Marriage

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Divorce Marriage

A man is incomplete until he is married; after that, he is finished.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Marriage Men People

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Husbands Marriage Things Wives

Year: The exact length of time that will pass from the day you get married to the day you forget your first anniversary.

Definitions Marriage Time

All women marry beneath them.

Marriage Murphy’s Laws Women

Desertion: The poor man’s divorce.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Marriage always demands the finest arts of insincerity possible between two human beings."

(1888 – 1960) Austrian writer
Characteristics Marriage

Middle Age: When you no longer care where your wife wants to go – so long as you don’t have to go with her.

Age Definitions Wives

Alimony: The sum of money a man is commanded to pay his ex-wife in exchange for the pleasure of having her live under a separate roof.

Definitions Marriage

I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.

(1947 – ) Austrian-American bodybuilder, actor & politician
Marriage

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives