Subject: Marriage (Page 34)

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Divorce Marriage Money

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Marriage Sex

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

My wife and I, we have a perfect plan to save our marriage, a nice little French restaurant, candlelight, a nice bottle of wine; I go on Tuesday, she goes on Thursday

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Animals Marriage

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Love Marriage Sex

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Wives

One night I figured – let my wife make the first move… she went to Florida.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Marriage

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men Women

We’ve been married 21 years – 100 with the windchill factor.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Marriage

Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Communication Marriage Reading/Writing

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil; she wants to see what she is getting.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Government Marriage Wives

If he's stuck with the shrew, I hope he screws everything that's not tied down.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Marriage Sex

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

We were happily married for eight months… unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.


Marriage

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Husbands Marriage People