Subject: Marriage (Page 5)

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Love Marriage Sex

Gregory: Rose, I love you and I… I want to be married to you.
Rose: Gregory, You are married to me.
Gregory: Uh… that’s right!

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Future Husbands Marriage Proverbs Time Wives

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Death Marriage

The snapshots you take of your husband are always more flattering than the ones he takes of you.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Self Things Wives

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage

I am a very committed wife, and I should be committed too – for being married so many times.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Marriage Self Wives

When someone asked me once if I ever thought of leaving Bill, I asked, “Where?”

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Marriage

My boyfriend and I broke up; he wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Relationships

Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!

Autos Marriage Things

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Divorce Family Marriage Parents

To my darling wife – roses are red, violets are blue, Valentines Day is consumerist rubbish, don’t you have some ironing to do?

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Marriage Wives

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Lord Chief Justice of England & Wales
Marriage

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages, but love accounts for the other third.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Marriage

I don't think I'll get married again; every five years or so, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Divorce Marriage

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose; last night she used me to time an egg.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Wives

After five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Divorce Marriage

The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women; it's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Marriage

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes