Subject: Marriage (Page 9)

Seems like only a year ago they were married nine years!

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Marriage Time

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

This coat I’m wearing is a present from my wife; I came home early one night and there it was, hanging over a chair.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Marriage Wives

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Marriage Wives

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Marriage War

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men Women

An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Marriage Things Wives

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

I’m still friends with all my ex’s, apart from my husbands.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Divorce Husbands Marriage

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage

How it Works: The Wife

Book Titles Marriage Wives

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Husbands Marriage

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English Language; ‘I do’ is the longest.

Marriage

It was a mixed marriage… I’m human, and he was a Klingon.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Marriage People

Marriage is like a train that makes intermittent stops at children, new house, new job, new car and cruises, just to keep the trip interesting.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Marriage

I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.

English police officer, writer, stand-up comedian & radio performer
Marriage Sex

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage Sex

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Marriage Men Mistakes Problems