Subject: Marriage » Wives (Page 3)

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Activities Government President Sex Wives

I first met the wife in a tunnel of love… she was digging it.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Marriage Wives

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

I’ve never won an argument with her; and the only times I thought I had, I found out the argument wasn’t over yet.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Wives

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Clothing Sex Wives

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Health Wives

God help the man who won’t marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.

(1860 – 1943) British socialist, union leader & politician
Marriage Wives

Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life Marriage Wives

After three years of marriage, there are some questions I'd like to ask my wife… little things like, 'Honey, why is it that you get three closets and I get the back of a chair?

comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

My wife has to be the worst cook; her specialty is indigestion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Health Wives

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Time Wives

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking…,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

American actor & comedian
Marriage Situations Wives

My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Marriage Wives

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.

(1929 – ) British military historian, cook book writer & novelist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

(1920 – 2006) American actress
Marriage Wives

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?'… 'Oh, honey – that's up to Mommy, isn't it?'

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Conflict Killing Marriage Wives

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night; now, we'll never see each other!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

By all means, marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

(469 BC – 399) BC Greek philosopher
Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives