Subject: Marriage » Wives (Page 3)

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage Things Wives

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

American entrepreneur & author
Intelligence Marriage Memory Wives

I went to look for a used car; I found my wife's dress in the back seat!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Marriage Things Wives

I’ve never won an argument with her; and the only times I thought I had, I found out the argument wasn’t over yet.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Wives

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

After three years of marriage, there are some questions I'd like to ask my wife… little things like, 'Honey, why is it that you get three closets and I get the back of a chair?

comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

God help the man who won’t marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her.

(1860 – 1943) British socialist, union leader & politician
Marriage Wives

My first wife, I’ll never forget her… and I’ve tried.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Marriage Wives

My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Marriage Wives

The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.


Communication Husbands Marriage Wives

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

(1920 – 2006) American actress
Marriage Wives

Hovering between wife and death.

(1771 – 1854) Scottish writer
Marriage Wives

I told my wife she’s lousy in bed; she went out to get a second opinion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Husbands Marriage Wives

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Health Wives

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Wives

My wife is Hawaiian; well… no she’s not, but she’s shaped like a pineapple.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Wives

If you run into an old girlfriend – no matter how innocently – your wife will know about it before you get home.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

Generally speaking, my wife is generally speaking.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives