Subject: Marriage » Wives (Page 4)

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?'… 'Oh, honey – that's up to Mommy, isn't it?'

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Conflict Killing Marriage Wives

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Marriage Wives

Oh, we were doomed from the start. I’m an Earth sign. She’s a Water sign. Together, we made mud.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Husbands Marriage Wives

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.

(1929 – ) British military historian, cook book writer & novelist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

When in the course of human affairs – your spouse always finds out.

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

My wife is Hawaiian; well… no she’s not, but she’s shaped like a pineapple.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Wives

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking…,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

American actor & comedian
Marriage Situations Wives

Every American woman has two souls to call her own, the other being her husband's.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Husbands Marriage Wives

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose; last night she used me to time an egg.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Wives

My girlfriend say’s that I’m afraid of commitment… well she’s not my girlfriend… more a wife.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

Marriage Money Wives Work

An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Marriage Things Wives

Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.

Definitions Marriage Wives

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Future Husbands Marriage Proverbs Time Wives