Subject: Marriage » Wives (Page 9)

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Time Wives

I told my wife the truth… I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist; then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Relationships Wives

Me and my wife met at a Castanet class… we clicked.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Marriage Wives

I first met the wife in a tunnel of love… she was digging it.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Marriage Wives

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Husbands Marriage Self Wives

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

Conflict Headlines Wives

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand; she lit it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex; last night, she called me from a motel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Sex Speech Wives

The other day my wife asked me to take her someplace real expensive to eat, so I took her to the airport.

stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Marriage Wives

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Divorce Marriage Time Wives

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Marriage Time Wives

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed… I leave.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Have you heard about the woman who stabbed her husband thirty-seven times? … I admire her restraint.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Conflict Marriage Wives

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking…,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

American actor & comedian
Marriage Situations Wives

My wife has cut me down to once a month; I'm lucky…
I know two guys she cut off completely.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage Things Wives