Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 11)

I wouldn't speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying a big lump of ice.

Miscellaneous

So ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.

Miscellaneous

The Alcohall Of Fame

Miscellaneous

If you ever get some outer-space guy in a headlock, and his head starts throbbing and glowing different colors, don’t let go; that just means the headlock is working.

Miscellaneous

In my opinion anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out becoming pure energy.

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Olivia De Havilland once sat on something in a movie that Roy Rogers says he grew to love. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A box of Milk Duds.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

You’re as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
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Nobody will ever notice it on a galloping horse.

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Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon.

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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

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Oh for crying in the bucket.

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Give a 50 cent answer for a nickel question.

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So good it’ll make you smack yo mama.

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He's so thin he had to stand twice in the same place to make a shadow.

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He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' bumble bees.

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That kid could break an anvil.

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Purty as a picture

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His brain rolls around in his head like a mustard seed in a five gallon bucket.

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He/She’s got teeth like a rake.

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Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Sharp as a ball peen hammer.

Miscellaneous