Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 12)

Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your space zoo if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me… and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

Miscellaneous

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

Miscellaneous

Murray: Being fired is like being violated!

Sue Ann: Leave it to Murray to find a bright spot in all this.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Miscellaneous

Longer than a visit from my mother in law.

Miscellaneous

Skinny as a rail

Miscellaneous

That’s smoother than a spanked baby’s butt

Miscellaneous

Like a sow needs a sidesaddle

Miscellaneous

Pretty as you please

Miscellaneous

The sun don't shine on the same dog's tail/behind all the time.

Miscellaneous

I try to be as nice to her as I possibly can, because one day I may need part of her liver.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Miscellaneous

That possum's on the stump.

Miscellaneous

Greener than goose shit

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Slower than molasses in January

Miscellaneous

I do all I can… and the easy ones twice.

Miscellaneous

When I was a baby I had no teeth, I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

Miscellaneous

A close chewer and a tight spitter.

Miscellaneous

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous

“Mash” the gas

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Breast baby

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Fall in for vittles.

Miscellaneous