Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 12)

To have treed the coon

Miscellaneous

The damned thing works!

(1906 – 1971) American inventor & television pioneer
Miscellaneous

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

Miscellaneous

If Pigs Had Wings

Miscellaneous

In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

Miscellaneous

He learned to whisper in a sawmill.

Miscellaneous

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Miscellaneous

To “love on you”

Miscellaneous

It don’t take long to examine a hot horseshoe.

Miscellaneous

If you ever get some outer-space guy in a headlock, and his head starts throbbing and glowing different colors, don’t let go; that just means the headlock is working.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn't trade you for a farm in Georgia.

Miscellaneous

Put on the dog

Miscellaneous

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

He’d scare a horse from his oats.

Miscellaneous

Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

Miscellaneous

Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.

Miscellaneous

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were ‘just going down to the corner.’

Miscellaneous

Not blessed with beauty…

Miscellaneous

He just sits there like a bump on a log.

Miscellaneous

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

Miscellaneous