Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 14)

Boy howdy!

Road Humps

Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.

Vanderbilt football coach

He is just a hole in search of donut.

Like they do in Alabama

I’m gonna tan yer hide!

My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because, man, they’re gone.

Not particularly handsome

I'm so hungry I could eat my elbows.

You don’t have to have a long neck to be a goose.

It's gonna be a gully washer.

You can put a porcupine in a wood chipper, but you will not make maple syrup.

Watermelon talk

He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.

They from off.

Livin’ high on the hawg.

Pore mouthin’

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon… but it never really took off.

(1964 – ) English comedian

If it was raining soup, he'd be out in the yard with a fork.

Don’t trust the heart, it wants your blood.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist