Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 14)

I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck.

Miscellaneous

He went and blessed me out!

Miscellaneous

I’ve wondered where this [fear of clowns] started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

Miscellaneous

Dumb as a sack of doorknobs

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Too Fat Polka

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Who's pluckin' this chicken, me or you?

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Corduroy Pants

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He's as country as a bowl of grits.

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Stand pappy

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Don’t care if I do.

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There was probably an old Viking saying that said, “Ax in the head, early to bed; ax in the helmet, a friend of Helmut.”

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Slow as pond water.

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I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

A blue million

Miscellaneous

Mites don’t fly this time of the year.

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I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.

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I've had an apple out of that bag.

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Crooked as a cork screw.

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To beat the band

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Pot licker

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He’s livin' in high cotton.

Miscellaneous