Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 16)

In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

Miscellaneous

I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

Miscellaneous

My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like “no he didn’t, clearly there was a struggle”.

American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

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Miscellaneous

Crazy as a sack of bees.

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Pretty is as pretty does.

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It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.

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It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.

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He don’t know daylight from dark.

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Will ya take on wood?

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For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Miscellaneous

You look like death eating a cracker.

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It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

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Like a spring lizard in a henhouse

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He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

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Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, within reason; when I asked her what she meant by within reason, she said that I ask a lot of questions for a garbage man.

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Knee high to a grasshopper

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My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

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Madder than spit on a griddle

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He bought a pig in a poke.

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Drunk as Cooter Brown

Miscellaneous