Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 17)

Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!

Miscellaneous

A faint heart never won a fair lady or stole a watermelon.

Miscellaneous

Avon In The Amazon

Miscellaneous

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

Pot licker

Miscellaneous

Don’t judge someone until they have tossed your salad.

(1954 – ) American actor & singer
Miscellaneous

You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him.

Miscellaneous

They’re like two peas in a pod.

Miscellaneous

Gooder’n snuff and not half as dusty

Miscellaneous

We in the short rows.

Miscellaneous

Jackin yer jaw

Miscellaneous

If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don’t think it necessarily means you’re a hard worker; it may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

Miscellaneous

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Miscellaneous

All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.

(1946 – ) American cretin & 45th U.S. president
Miscellaneous

You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him.

Miscellaneous

You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.

Miscellaneous

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes; after that, who cares? … he’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Miscellaneous

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Whenever I need to ‘get away,’ I just get away in my mind; I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect; the only bad thing there are the flies… they’re terrible!

Miscellaneous

Being hugged by Diana Rigg is worth three sessions of chemotherapy.

(1921 – 2000) English Archbishop of Canterbury
Miscellaneous