Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 17)

Louder than two skeletons fighting on a tin roof.

Miscellaneous

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

When people say, ‘You’re breaking my heart,’ they do in fact usually men that you’re breaking their genitals.

(1932 – 1997) British journalist
Miscellaneous

Hotter than a two dollar pistol.

Miscellaneous

Hotter than a June bride.

Miscellaneous

It’s funny how two simple words, “I promise,” will stall people for a while.

Miscellaneous

When a dog is tight-mouthed

Miscellaneous

Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

A Boy Named Sue

Miscellaneous

No bigger than the little end of nothin’ whittled down to a fine point.

Miscellaneous

You’re as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Miscellaneous

Always… no wait… never…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

Makes my butt wanna grind corn!

Miscellaneous

Like a jackass in a tin stable

Miscellaneous

It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.

Miscellaneous

In your life, you’ve got to eat a peck of dirt.

Miscellaneous

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because, man, they’re gone.

Miscellaneous

Full of piss and vinegar

Miscellaneous

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose

(1898 – 1983) English author, playwright, journalist, composer & public speaker
Miscellaneous

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Dumber than a road lizard

Miscellaneous