Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 18)

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that’s all I have to say.

Miscellaneous

He learned to whisper in a sawmill.

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It's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
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If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin.’

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Ain't I God's own fool?

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Whenever you see a bunch of Italian guys talking Italian, just go up to them and start talking fake Italian. They may not understand you exactly, but at least everyone will get a nice warm “Italian” feeling.

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Well, shut my mouth.

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Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

(1946 – ) American comedian
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He's so thin he had to stand twice in the same place to make a shadow.

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When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves.; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

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That was faster than green grass through a goose.

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If brains was grease, he couldn’t slick the head of a pin.

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He lives in your neck of the woods.

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Just because there is a rat in the barn doesn’t mean you need to burn it down.

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Oops!

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Boy, ain't no difference twixt them and you 'cept God's Love.

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A face like a bee keepers apprentice

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As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

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You don't have the sense God gave a chigger.

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He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.

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So tight you can hear him squeak when he walks

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