Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 19)

Once bread is toast, it can't be bread again.

Miscellaneous

Well, shut my mouth.

Miscellaneous

I wish somebody would invent a fruit that had no seeds, tasted delicious, and would scream when you ate it.

Miscellaneous

It don’t take long to examine a hot horseshoe.

Miscellaneous

If I had two wheels, I would be a bicycle.

Miscellaneous

If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.

Miscellaneous

I'll snatch you baldheaded.

Miscellaneous

To me, clowns aren’t funny, they’re kind of scary; I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Miscellaneous

There’s no “I” in denial.

(1972 – ) English actor, comedian, writer, voice artist & director
Miscellaneous

Sittin' on the bedpost.

Miscellaneous

You'd have to be William Tell to hit a straw bale round here.

British motorcycle road racer
Miscellaneous

That's the Irish people all over – they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Miscellaneous

I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

Miscellaneous

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

Miscellaneous

Glad eye

Miscellaneous

Shet [shut] the light.

Miscellaneous

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”

(1948 – ) English novelist
Miscellaneous

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous TV/Movie Quotes

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

You look like you were pulled through a knothole backwards.

Miscellaneous

Like a martin to his gourd

Miscellaneous