Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 2)

I swaney, Mama shoulda named me Grace.

Miscellaneous

Let me hug your neck.

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Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

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She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

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We live by the Golden Rule: those who have the gold make the rules.

(1914 –2008) American baseball executive
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Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly.

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The thing I don’t get about pedophilia… why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
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What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

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I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

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Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

He traveled a minute in thirty seconds.

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Eddie: Mother, are you still on the computer?

Gran: Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can’t get out.

(1925 – ) English actress
Miscellaneous

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment”? … I’d ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you’d probably be able to get a lot of free games.

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Uglier than a mud fence

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If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.

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It'd be quicker to train kudzu.

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When I think of some of the things that have been done in the name of science, I have to cringe… no, wait, not science, vandalism; and not cringe, laugh.

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I’m touching cotton.

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If that ain't right then grits ain't groceries.

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Sittin’ on the amen corner

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Happier 'n a puppy with two peters.

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