Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 20)

When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

Miscellaneous

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Ya-hoo! We’re rich! But it turned out to be something different.

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He is so green if you stuck him in the ground he would grow.

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No News, Or What Killed The Dog

Miscellaneous Song Titles

Let me hug your neck.

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She’d scare a haint up a thorn tree.

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I love you a bushel and a peck.

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Tougher than a one-eared alley cat.

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She’s possum ugly.

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Mites stay on a chicken’s ass.

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Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

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You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

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You want to get three feet up a bull’s ass, just listen to the whisperings of sweethearts.

(1954 – 2008) British film director, playwright & screenwriter
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… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
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I don’t know who St. Valentine was, but I hope he died alone, surrounded by couples.

(1972 – ) English actress & comedian
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That land is so poor two red-headed women couldn’t raise a fuss on it.

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Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta, grow up.

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Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose

(1898 – 1983) English author, playwright, journalist, composer & public speaker
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Well, shoot me for a billygoat.

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You can’t blame a worm for not wanting to go fishing.

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