Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 20)

Sometimes life seems like a dream… especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Miscellaneous

Living high on the hog

Miscellaneous

He’s so ugly he has to slap himself to sleep.

Miscellaneous

I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.

Miscellaneous

To have treed the coon

Miscellaneous

I'm feeling as low as a toad in a dry well.

Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

You look like something the cat drug in and the dog won’t eat.

Miscellaneous

Hold your horses

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

Miscellaneous

Don’t let the tail wag the dog.

Miscellaneous

He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

Miscellaneous

If a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump its ass a-hoppin.’

Miscellaneous

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”

(1948 – ) English novelist
Miscellaneous

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

Granny Scrooch

Miscellaneous

I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

Miscellaneous

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

That poor boy’s so slow, it would take him two hours to watch 60 minutes.

Miscellaneous

Klaus Toppmoller: hair like David Gower and dress sense like Austin Powers.

British sports announcer
Miscellaneous

Heart, We Did All We Could

Miscellaneous