Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 21)

Looking at me like a cow at a new fence.

Miscellaneous

He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

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Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

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She’s so poor she ain’t got two nickels to rub together.

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It was so good it would have brought tears to a glass eye.

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Like an old hen with one chick

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Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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Our humility is what makes us great.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Miscellaneous

Don't worry 'bout the mule son, just load the wagon.

Miscellaneous

When I shake hands with a man, the first thing I do is look him right in the eye. Then I start poking my hand around in the air, like I can’t find his hand. Then, if the guy’s still there, I finally shake it.

Miscellaneous

I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president; then somehow I get myself elected president.

Miscellaneous

People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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I’m fair to middlin’.

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What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

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A trace of the uppity

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Useless as tits on a boar hog

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I think the movie actually made my heart beat slower.

American movie critic
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Between you me and the gatepost…

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Chew the bark off

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He was as mad as a mule chewin' on bumblebees!

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He’s got molasses in his britches.

Miscellaneous