Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 22)

I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always been bad at spelling – not sure whether it’s nature or nurture.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

He was wound up tighter ‘en a bango string.

Miscellaneous

He’d skin a flea for the hide and tallow.

Miscellaneous

About half.

Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli (1881 – 1963) Italian pope
Miscellaneous

Count the people.

Miscellaneous

We better git on the stick!

Miscellaneous

Took a heart burnin'

Miscellaneous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

Miscellaneous

Couldn't hit her in the butt with a red apple.

Miscellaneous

Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Miscellaneous

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Miscellaneous

One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous

A daily festival of human suffering.

American professional road racing cyclist
Miscellaneous

Fall in for vittles.

Miscellaneous

They scoffed when I told them I’d one day learn the secret of invisibility; if they could only see me now.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous

You don't have the sense God gave a chigger.

Miscellaneous

You can put a porcupine in a wood chipper, but you will not make maple syrup.

Miscellaneous

Dumber than a road lizard

Miscellaneous

Happiness walks on busy feet.

Miscellaneous

If i was feelin any better i'd give five dollars for a good headache.

Miscellaneous