Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 22)

You’re like the dog that caught the car.

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Planted corn before the fence was built

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He ain't sawing logs, he's clearing brush.

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He is purple – the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay pride symbol.

(1933 – 2007) Am. evangelical pastor, televangelist, & political commentator
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Telephone Man

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I wouldn't speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying a big lump of ice.

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Spring chicken

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Grace the table.

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It's gonna be a gully washer.

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Not blessed with beauty…

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My mom used to stick her head in the oven. Actually she only did it the once, but it was pretty weird.

(1963 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
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She is so ugly I would hire her to haunt a house.

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If promises were persimmons, possums could eat good at her place.

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I’m just guessing, but probably one of the early signs that your radarscope is wearing out is something I call “image fuzz-out,” but I’ve never even seen a radarscope, so I wouldn’t totally go by what I’ve just said here.

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Don’t trust the heart, it wants your blood.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
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If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

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Well, shut my mouth.

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Like a polecat at a camp meeting

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Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the stilts? … it probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.

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It's not easy to cut through a human head with a hacksaw.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
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Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad… and this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.

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