Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 22)

Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Miscellaneous

In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

Miscellaneous

He’s steal a chaw of tobacco out of your mouth if you yawned.

Miscellaneous

Rarely has the phrase "going through the motions" felt more fitting.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous

Probably one of the main problems with owning a robot is when you want him to go out in the snow to get the paper, he doesn’t want to go because it’s so cold, so you have to get out your whip and start whipping him, and the kids start crying, and oh why did I ever get this stupid robot?

Miscellaneous

Too slow to keep worms in a tin.

Miscellaneous

In this adventure Harry will do battle with giant lizards, face the attack of the Death Eaters, and in perhaps the most difficult task of all for a 14-year-old, ask a girl to be his date at the Yule Ball.

Miscellaneous

He's tougher than a two dollar steak.

Miscellaneous

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

Miscellaneous

Plantation dog

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Corduroy Pants

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I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?

Miscellaneous Song Titles

She is so ugly I would hire her to haunt a house.

Miscellaneous

He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.

Miscellaneous

Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash.

Vanderbilt football coach
Miscellaneous

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that’s all I have to say.

Miscellaneous

He's as happy as if he had good sense.

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I'll knock you so hard you'll see tomorrow today.

Miscellaneous

It’s like swimming through peanut butter.

Miscellaneous

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

Miscellaneous

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Miscellaneous