Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 23)

Presidential ambition is a disease which can only be cured by embalming fluid.

(1903 – 1963) U.S. senator (Tennessee)
Miscellaneous

She could eat watermelon through a chicken wire fence.

Miscellaneous

Can you carry me up to the picture show?

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Do you want your dinner now or when you get it.

Miscellaneous

It come up a bad cloud.

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He’s got molasses in his britches.

Miscellaneous

She is pretty as a pumpkin and about half as smart.

Miscellaneous

Jesus Loves You But I Don’t

Miscellaneous

I’m The Urban Spaceman

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Don’t start choppin’ till you’ve treed the coon.

Miscellaneous

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.

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She's so sweet, sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth.

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She’s totin’ the high leg.

Miscellaneous

If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don’t let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he’ll thank you.

Miscellaneous

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

He’s livin' in high cotton.

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Happy as a clam at high tide

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Here’s a tip: if you ever decide to take apart a bird’s nest, to see how it’s made, first make sure it’s not somebody’s basket they got in South America.

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He looks like he stepped out of a bandbox.

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I bet Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

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Wild as a peach orchard hog.

Miscellaneous