Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 23)

I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

Miscellaneous

Nervous as a cow with a bucktooth calf.

Miscellaneous

Every dog has his day.

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I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl.

Miscellaneous

He's as happy as if he had good sense.

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Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Never laugh at a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes; then you are a mile away, and you have his shoes.

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I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me.

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He would steal the shitball from a blind tumblebug, give him a marble and put him on the wrong road home.

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Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home, his face might burn up.

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He bought a pig in a poke.

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It's come a cloud.

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I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

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So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Mend fences.

Miscellaneous

I love you a bushel and a peck.

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The land that had nourished him and had borne him fruit now turned against him and called him a fruit. Man, I hate land like that.

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Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

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Chester drawers

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Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous