Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 24)
I wish somebody would invent a fruit that had no seeds, tasted delicious, and would scream when you ate it.
Miscellaneous
In a New York minute.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Quickly
Soon
I guess we were all guilty, in a way; we all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, “I helped skin Bob.”
Miscellaneous
The bell cow
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
The leader
She came down the road like a Tennessee Walker.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
She had legs up to her armpits and was proud of 'em
Strutted
I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.
F. Lee Bailey
(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers
Miscellaneous
Punishment
It daddied itself
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said of a child that looks just like its father
If the Lord’s willing and the creeks don’t rise.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off; you see, we build to that.
Miscellaneous
In the wake of a successful Iraqi elections President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped up to 57% or, as high school teachers call it, an ‘F’.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous
From Weekend Update on “Saturday Night Live”
George W. Bush
I don’t know whether to help you or euthanize you.
Ryan Gosling
(1980 – ) Canadian actor, director, writer & musician
Miscellaneous
As Jacob Palmer in “Crazy
Love
Stupid
That was faster than green grass through a goose.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Fast
Other expressions
Quickness
Speed
When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.
Miscellaneous
Prettier than a blue-nosed mule.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Pretty
Taxidermal Therapy
The Four Bitchin’ Babes
Miscellaneous
You'd have to be William Tell to hit a straw bale round here.
Barry Sheene
British motorcycle road racer
Miscellaneous
Motorcycle racing
On the lack of safety precautions at Nurburgring
Well, ain’t that just tits on a duck!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Mild surprise
Other expressions
Well I declare
His porch light’s on, but he ain’t home!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Not too bright
Other expressions
Longer than a visit from my mother in law.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
It's come a cloud.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
It's going to storm
Other expressions
If enough people tell you you’re dead, you ought to lay down.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Page 24 of 75
« First
« Previous
22
23
24
25
26
Next »
Last »