Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 24)

I wish somebody would invent a fruit that had no seeds, tasted delicious, and would scream when you ate it.

Miscellaneous

In a New York minute.

Miscellaneous

I guess we were all guilty, in a way; we all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, “I helped skin Bob.”

Miscellaneous

The bell cow

Miscellaneous

She came down the road like a Tennessee Walker.

Miscellaneous

I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men, but the guilty never escape unscathed; my fees are sufficient punishment for anyone.

(1933 – ) American attorney
Lawyers Miscellaneous

It daddied itself

Miscellaneous

If the Lord’s willing and the creeks don’t rise.

Miscellaneous

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off; you see, we build to that.

Miscellaneous

In the wake of a successful Iraqi elections President Bush’s job approval rating has jumped up to 57% or, as high school teachers call it, an ‘F’.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

I don’t know whether to help you or euthanize you.

(1980 – ) Canadian actor, director, writer & musician
Miscellaneous

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

Miscellaneous

Prettier than a blue-nosed mule.

Miscellaneous

Taxidermal Therapy

Miscellaneous

You'd have to be William Tell to hit a straw bale round here.

British motorcycle road racer
Miscellaneous

Well, ain’t that just tits on a duck!

Miscellaneous

His porch light’s on, but he ain’t home!

Miscellaneous

Longer than a visit from my mother in law.

Miscellaneous

It's come a cloud.

Miscellaneous

If enough people tell you you’re dead, you ought to lay down.

Miscellaneous