Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 24)

Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

Miscellaneous

There is hope as long as your fishing-line is in the water.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer

Miscellaneous

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Miscellaneous

Every dog should have a few fleas.

Miscellaneous

I don’t know which is worse… that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Miscellaneous

He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.

Miscellaneous

Long as a month of Sundays.

Miscellaneous

Chew the bark off

Miscellaneous

Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

Miscellaneous

If wishes were horses, some folks would need a lot of hay.

Miscellaneous

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost and people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Miscellaneous People Self

Give a 50 cent answer for a nickel question.

Miscellaneous

Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like you’re going to fall in.

Miscellaneous

He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

Miscellaneous

Darn it, I tumped over my tea.

Miscellaneous

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I’m a coward.

Miscellaneous

I’ve got an accountant who’s been with me forty years; if he makes a mistake, he dies.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Don't get your tit in a ringer!

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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

Miscellaneous

The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor. Sorry, he said with a smile.

Miscellaneous