Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 26)

This ain’t the first time I’ve brought chicken to a fish fry.

Miscellaneous

One time I don’t think you should listen to your body is when it says “I’m dead.”

Miscellaneous

Telephone Man

Miscellaneous

Give a man a fish and it will feed him for a day, give the man a fishing rod and he will sell it for more fish, or burn it for firewood.

(1968 – ) English impressionist & comedian
Miscellaneous Proverbs

She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.

Miscellaneous

Well tie me to a pig and role me in the mud!

Miscellaneous

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

Miscellaneous

It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something?

Miscellaneous

Cute as a sack full of puppies.

Miscellaneous

I’ve been in Who’s Who, and I know what’s what, but it’ll be the first time I ever made the dictionary.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Miscellaneous

If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.

Miscellaneous

If I ever become a mummy, I’m going to have it so when somebody opens my lid, a boxing glove on a spring shoots out.

Miscellaneous

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

(1935) British film director, producer & food critic
Miscellaneous

If a kid ever asks you how Santa Claus can live forever, I think a good answer is that he drinks blood.

Miscellaneous

I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs… he wasn’t happy.

Miscellaneous

We don’t air our dirty laundry out in public.

Miscellaneous

She’s possum ugly.

Miscellaneous

You’ve got the saw by the wrong tree.

Miscellaneous

Sloppier than two pigs in a bucket

Miscellaneous

I don’t know whether to help you or euthanize you.

(1980 – ) Canadian actor, director, writer & musician
Miscellaneous

Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!

Miscellaneous