Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 26)

If the Lord’s willing and the creeks don’t rise.

Miscellaneous

Farmin’ in the woods

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Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Tricky, isn’t it, if you’re both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

(1964 – ) English comedian
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Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time.

Miscellaneous

“This steering wheel really is stuck”, Tom maintained unswervingly.

Miscellaneous

As easy as herding chickens/cats

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Fortune for reading only. Do not eat.

Miscellaneous

Plum tuckered

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I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

Miscellaneous

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Miscellaneous

Crespin’s Law of Observation

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Church was a reminder there was something worse than school.

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Thank God it wasn’t his prostate.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
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like trying to herd cats

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Meaner than a snake

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People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

Miscellaneous

Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

(1965 – ) film & television actor
Miscellaneous

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

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It’s hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.

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Beard,  West Virginia

Miscellaneous