Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 27)

Who's pluckin' this chicken, me or you?

Miscellaneous

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?

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I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

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Bless your pea-pickin' heart.

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

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It’s so foggy, you have to poke a hole to spit.

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Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest.

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His family tree is a trunk.

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“Mash” the gas

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Fall in for vittles.

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Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

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You’re not worth the gunpowder it’ll take to blow you away.

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Only if they don't work.

(Pauline Phillips) (1918 – 2013) American advice columnist
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Crazy as a dog in a hub cap factory.

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I've sallyjacked the potato salad.

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I went to see a hypnotist the other night and I really enjoyed myself, which made me suspicious…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
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Cute as a sack full of puppies.

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Couldn't run a bath!

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Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

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I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

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