Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 27)
Who's pluckin' this chicken, me or you?
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?
Miscellaneous
I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.
Miscellaneous
Bless your pea-pickin' heart.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”
Miscellaneous
It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
It’s so foggy, you have to poke a hole to spit.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Fog
Other expressions
Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Busy
Other expressions
His family tree is a trunk.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
“Mash” the gas
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
To ‘step on’ or ‘press’ the gas peddle
Fall in for vittles.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Dinner
Let’s gather at the table to eat
Other expressions
Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Quickly
You’re not worth the gunpowder it’ll take to blow you away.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Worthless
Only if they don't work.
Dear Abby
(Pauline Phillips) (1918 – 2013) American advice columnist
Miscellaneous
In response to “Are birth control pills deductible?”
Crazy as a dog in a hub cap factory.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I've sallyjacked the potato salad.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
I've made too much potato salad
Other expressions
I went to see a hypnotist the other night and I really enjoyed myself, which made me suspicious…
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous
Hypnotism
Cute as a sack full of puppies.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Cute
Other expressions
Couldn't run a bath!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
Miscellaneous
I saw on this nature show how the male elk douses himself with urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!
Miscellaneous
Page 27 of 75
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