Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 27)

It’s too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.

Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

Couldn't run a bath!

Miscellaneous

No News, Or What Killed The Dog

Miscellaneous Song Titles

If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Miscellaneous

Just cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

Miscellaneous

Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

Miscellaneous

She can burn water.

Miscellaneous

With every new sunrise, there is a new chance; but with every sunset, you blew it.

Miscellaneous

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

Miscellaneous

I'll knock you so hard you'll see tomorrow today.

Miscellaneous

I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote,” so right before I die I could say “unquote.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

You’d call an alligator a lizard.

Miscellaneous

Fortune for reading only. Do not eat.

Miscellaneous

Slower than a Sunday afternoon.

Miscellaneous

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always felt sorry for Jesus ‘cause you know no matter what he ever did, he could never live up to his father.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

You weigh up the pros and cons and try to put them into chronological order.

Miscellaneous

Steppin’ out

Miscellaneous

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.

(Ask Amy) (1959 – ) American advice columnist
Miscellaneous