Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 28)

I’ve got no dog in that fight.

Miscellaneous

Let’s be honest: Isn’t a lot what we call tap dancing really just nerves?

Entertainment Miscellaneous

When You’re Hot, You’re Hot

Miscellaneous

They never could set horses.

Miscellaneous

No, it’s liquid sunshine.

Miscellaneous

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

Miscellaneous

I hope no one is allergic to nuts… because I like to rest mine on the table.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Miscellaneous

Creaking doors hang the longest.

Miscellaneous

If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.

Miscellaneous

Gooder’n snuff and not half as dusty

Miscellaneous

Instead of past, present, and future, I’d prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Miscellaneous

Talk the legs off a dead mule – or – talk the hind leg off a donkey

Miscellaneous

He is just a hole in search of donut.

Miscellaneous

I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

Miscellaneous

She's so sweet, sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth.

Miscellaneous

He could tear up a railroad track with a rubber hammer.

Miscellaneous

If you’re ever giving a speech, when you start out, act nervous and get mixed up a little bit. Then, as you go along, get better and better. Then, at the end, give off a white, glowing light and have rays shoot out of you.

Miscellaneous

You could throw her in a river and skim ugly for two days.

Miscellaneous

Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

Miscellaneous

A face like a boiled fist

Miscellaneous

He don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

Miscellaneous