Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 28)

He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.

Miscellaneous

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?

Miscellaneous

I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

Miscellaneous

One foot in the grave and another on a banana peel

Miscellaneous

I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy.

Miscellaneous

I’m fixin’ to show you what a whuppin’ is all about!

Miscellaneous

If you put his brain in a gnat's butt, it would fly backwards.

Miscellaneous

I think man invented the car by instinct.

Miscellaneous

I’m so poor that if it cost a nickle to go around the world, I couldn’t get out of sight.

Miscellaneous

I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

Miscellaneous

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

I don’t pay him no nevermind.

Miscellaneous

She's so mad she's gonna raise sand.

Miscellaneous

He could go bear hunting with a switch.

Miscellaneous

If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don’t think it necessarily means you’re a hard worker; it may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

Miscellaneous

Bobby Wheeler: We were wondering if you would join us for a few minutes?

Jim: Well, what did you decide?

(1938 – ) American actor
Miscellaneous

I’d rather have a broke back in hell.

Miscellaneous

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

(1935) British film director, producer & food critic
Miscellaneous

Tighter than a new boot

Miscellaneous

Full of piss and vinegar

Miscellaneous

He was wound up tighter ‘en a bango string.

Miscellaneous