Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 28)
Drunk as Cooter Brown
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Drunk
Other expressions
If that ain't right then grits ain't groceries.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Obviously
Of course
Other expressions
Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Gallagher
(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous
Turn of the sun
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Noon
Other expressions
If you’re a cowboy and you’re dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
Miscellaneous
Throw the hatchet
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Embellish the truth
Exaggerate
Other expressions
I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A threat (usually to a child)
Other expressions
You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
Cecil Baxter
Miscellaneous
He is just a hole in search of donut.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Don't stand behind a coughing cow.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Proverbs
Cows
Yes, so it does.
Nicholas Longworth III
(1869 – 1931) American politician
Miscellaneous
Wordplay
After a companion ran his hand over Longworth’s bald head and commented “Nice and smooth. Feels just like my wife’s bottom
The apple never falls too far from the tree.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Inheirited trait
Like father like son
Other expressions
She’s so stubborn she’d argue with a stop sign.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Stubbornness
Leanin' on the shovel
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Taking a break
You’re not worth the gunpowder it’ll take to blow you away.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Worthless
He ain't sawing logs, he's clearing brush.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said of a sound sleeper
He fell ass over teakettle.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Novelties and notions? What kind of notions you got?
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Miscellaneous
TV/Movie Quotes
After reading Cuthbert Twillie’s (W.C. Fields’ business card
As Lady Lou in “She Done Him Wrong”
Notions
If a cow had wheels, it would be a milk truck.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
So what's your point?
Happiness walks on busy feet.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He lost his hat, ass, and spats!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said when someone lost something
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Yes, so it does.