Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 29)

He lost his hat, ass, and spats!

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Well, shut my mouth.

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There is one question that probably drives just about every vampire crazy: “Oh, do you know Dracula?”

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Meaner than a snake

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He’d scare a horse from his oats.

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One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

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What a bunch of potlickers

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Can of corn

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I'll walk to town on that lip!

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I hope she lives to a 150 and looks it.

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"shootin" horseshoes

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A hangdog look

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I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy.

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He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.

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She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

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Mind that frayed cord – it’ll knock your pecker into yer watchpocket!

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The face of a child can say it all… especially the mouth part of the face.

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I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.

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In a coon's age.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never repeat yourself.

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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

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