Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 29)

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.

Miscellaneous

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

As scarce as hens teeth.

Miscellaneous

He’s going to blow the gates of hell wide open when he goes.

Miscellaneous

He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

Miscellaneous

I hope that when I die, people say about me, ‘Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’

Miscellaneous

I'm gonna peck a knot on your head!

Miscellaneous

He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

Miscellaneous

He is purse proud.

Miscellaneous

You might as well play Hob with the hoe-handle!

Miscellaneous

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Miscellaneous

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

If they ever have a haunted house for dogs, I think a good display would be a bathtub full of soapy water.

Miscellaneous

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your backside?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Miscellaneous

It's hotter than a ginger mill in Hell.

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous

Some folks say it was a miracle. St. Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence. Other folks say it was just a lucky swing.

Miscellaneous

Broken Groin, South Carolina

Miscellaneous

I've seen animals hurt worse than that get well.

Miscellaneous

He’d argue with a wall as long as it’d stand there and take it.

Miscellaneous

Like a buzzard roosted in it

Miscellaneous