Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 29)

If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.

Miscellaneous

Full as a tick

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Jackin yer jaw

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Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

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If he had a brain and was a bird, he’d fly backwards.

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

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If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.

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I feel like the underside of a turnip green.

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He didn't get there on a paved road.

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He's got both feet in the trough.

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It is fun to be in the same decade with you.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
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Fan the door

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The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving.

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The Piano Has Been Drinking

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
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If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.

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Sittin’ on the amen corner

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The hair is in the butter.

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They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: “I am a fake mountain.”

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Two shakes of a lamb's tail

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Colder than a stepmother’s kiss

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Count the people.

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