Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 30)

People in hell want ice water, but that don’t mean they get it.

Miscellaneous

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never repeat yourself.

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Cathead biscuit

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They’re like two peas in a pod.

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Happy as a hog in slop.

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If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl.

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The football team from my high school was tough, after they sacked the quarterback they went after his family.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
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To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.

American comedian & writer
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Laugh, clown, laugh; this is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.

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Don’t let the tail wag the dog.

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He’s three limbs up a willa.

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Panting like a lizard on a hot rock

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If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

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I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention.

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In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

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Act like you’ve got some raisin.

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He’s so dumb he couldn’t piss his name in the snow.

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We’ve had to get a live-in nanny, ‘cos that dead one wasn’t working out.

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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Short as a gnat's tail

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Happy as a clam at high tide

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Forty eleven

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