Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 31)

I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.

Miscellaneous

If I had a mineshaft, I don’t think I would just abandon it; there’s got to be a better way.

Miscellaneous

A bumblebee is faster than a tractor.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn't speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying a big lump of ice.

Miscellaneous

Well, hush my mouth.

Miscellaneous

Peep of day

Miscellaneous

Like a suck-egg dog

Miscellaneous

Give me some sugar.

Miscellaneous

It’s as hot as blue blazes.

Miscellaneous

I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

Miscellaneous

Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!

Miscellaneous

He’s livin' in high cotton.

Miscellaneous

Beanville, Vermont

Miscellaneous

It'd be quicker to train kudzu.

Miscellaneous

Broke out with money

Miscellaneous

When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

(1819 – 1897) American journalist, author & senior government official
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Caught with your pants down.

Miscellaneous

I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I was at his house and that tied-up man with the gag in his mouth came hopping out of the closet and started yelling that he was really my grandfather and the other guy was an impostor and to run for help.

Miscellaneous

Seen better legs on a table.

Miscellaneous

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.

Miscellaneous