Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 31)

She fell out of the ugly tree; and hit every branch on the way down.

Miscellaneous

What goes over the Devil’s back comes back over his belly.

Miscellaneous

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head’s showing and gone ‘Philip, look at me! I’m a stamp!'

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
England Miscellaneous

You don't have the sense God gave a gnat.

Miscellaneous

Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

Miscellaneous

Being hugged by Diana Rigg is worth three sessions of chemotherapy.

(1921 – 2000) English Archbishop of Canterbury
Miscellaneous

Crying like a pine knot in a sawmill.

Miscellaneous

Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

I’d like to see a movie where a guy is going to die when the sand runs out of an hourglass, but then at the last minute an ant stops the sand from running out. Then the rest of the movie is about the ant.

Miscellaneous

The thing I don’t get about pedophilia… why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Miscellaneous

Southwest Airlines is like my period: it hurts my back and it’s always late.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Miscellaneous

He’s so tight you could shove a quarter up his ass and he’d grind it into a dime.

Miscellaneous

I don’t advocate that children start smoking… but for those kids who already do smoke, boy, it’s good, isn’t it?

Miscellaneous

That's the Irish people all over – they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Miscellaneous

She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

Miscellaneous

The Alcohall Of Fame

Miscellaneous

Tougher than a one-eared alley cat.

Miscellaneous

Like a suck-egg dog

Miscellaneous

I’m gonna tan your hide.

Miscellaneous

Deader than a door nail

Miscellaneous

I'll snatch you baldheaded.

Miscellaneous