Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 32)

I’m touching cotton.

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They from off.

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Ducktown,  Tennessee

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You didn’t pick up a crooked stick.

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Darn it, I tumped over my tea.

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Well, that just frosts my ankles!

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You look like death eating a cracker.

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In your life, you’ve got to eat a peck of dirt.

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People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.

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Hip: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Miscellaneous

He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.

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A face like a welder’s bench

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What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
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Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

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I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

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Quit bein’ ugly.

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Them dumplin's are so good, they'll make you want to slap your momma!

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Where do you fall?

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Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.

(1967 – ) English comedian
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I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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I feel bad for the guys who did steroids and still suck.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
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