Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 32)

The football team from my high school was tough, after they sacked the quarterback they went after his family.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Old as dirt

Miscellaneous

Thank God it wasn’t his prostate.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.

Miscellaneous

Plum tuckered

Miscellaneous

Let me hug your neck.

Miscellaneous

Get a hump on

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She could talk the leg off a horse.

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He's only got one oar in the water.

Miscellaneous

When I was a baby I had no teeth, I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

Miscellaneous

My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?

Jan Murray: His thighs.

(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
Miscellaneous

Basket name

Miscellaneous

He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection; I guess that’s what I hated about him.

Miscellaneous

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

A lot of times when you first start out on a project you think: this is never going to be finished, but then it is, and you think: Wow, it wasn’t even worth it.

Miscellaneous

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

Breast baby

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I've sallyjacked the potato salad.

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Short as a gnat's tail

Miscellaneous

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon… but it never really took off.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay