Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 32)

He ran like his feet were on fire and his ass was catchin'.

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She don’t have the sense God gave a gopher.

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They say no one knows if we all see red the same way… except traffic cops.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
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Like two peas in a pod.

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Like a bump on a log

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Quit bein’ ugly.

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Higher the hair, closer to God.

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When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves.; and usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.

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She could ruin a two-car funeral.

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Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Thirty years one summer

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Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

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What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

(1898 – 1956) German poet, playwright & theater director
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You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

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What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
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I don’t do quagmires.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
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Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

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Just cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.

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The water was higher than a cat’s back.

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She couldn't keep her dress down.

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