Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 32)

Prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!

Miscellaneous

Like a two-forty trot

Miscellaneous

Old as dirt

Miscellaneous

You want to get three feet up a bull’s ass, just listen to the whisperings of sweethearts.

(1954 – 2008) British film director, playwright & screenwriter
Miscellaneous

I have a plan, but … If I win, I don’t want to broadcast to the enemy exactly what my plan is.

Miscellaneous

He’s playing possum.

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Fell down cup over kettle.

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Acupuncture: Waiting for a cure on pins and needles.

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So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

Miscellaneous

It's hotter than a ginger mill in Hell.

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People will be able to see to Christmas.

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It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something?

Miscellaneous

It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly… but also, check out his Adam’s apple!

Miscellaneous

It’s hotter than a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.

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I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.

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I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.

American writer
Miscellaneous

She could make a preacher cuss!

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That’s smoother than a spanked baby’s butt

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He looks like he got beat with a ugly stick.

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That land is so poor two red-headed women couldn’t raise a fuss on it.

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Long as a month of Sundays.

Miscellaneous