Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 34)

Doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.

Miscellaneous

I wish somebody would invent a fruit that had no seeds, tasted delicious, and would scream when you ate it.

Miscellaneous

To “love on you”

Miscellaneous

He’s livin' in high cotton.

Miscellaneous

Hold your horses

Miscellaneous

Congratulations to Martin Luther King Jr. for having the only dream in history anyone actually wanted to hear about.

American comedian
Miscellaneous

I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.

Miscellaneous

Like a peach-orchard bull

Miscellaneous

I’m goin’ to be on you quicker than a duck on a June bug.

Miscellaneous

Well, ain’t he just the tom-cat’s kitten?

Miscellaneous

I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

Miscellaneous

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad?… just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)

Miscellaneous

I feel like the underside of a turnip green.

Miscellaneous

He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

Miscellaneous

She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

Miscellaneous

No more sense than last year’s bird nest.

Miscellaneous

I wonder if Dracula ever has ticks.

Miscellaneous

FREE Mullet Removal

Miscellaneous

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past… one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

(1930 – 2007) English comedian & nightclub owner
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Where are all the Sour Patch parents?

American comedian
Miscellaneous

I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?

Miscellaneous Song Titles