Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 34)

He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.

Does a snake have hips?

Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

It daddied itself

The face of a child can say it all… especially the mouth part of the face.

I'm out like a fat girl stealing second.

Basket name

If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

She Broken My Heart, So I Broke His Jaw

Eddie: Mother, are you still on the computer?

Gran: Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can’t get out.

(1925 – ) English actress

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

(1898 – 1956) German poet, playwright & theater director

I’m going to paint your back porch red if you keep talkin like that!

Nervous as a cow with a bucktooth calf.

We in the short rows.

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

Mites stay on a chicken’s ass.

I said to my wife, ‘Guess what I heard in the pub? … They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one’ and she said, ‘I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Phyllis at number 23.’

typographer

Fell down cup over kettle.

He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

I’m gonna tan yer hide!

Going ninety to nothin'