Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 34)
He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
He gets Tuesday’s paper on Friday.
Other expressions
Does a snake have hips?
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Obviously no
Of course not
Other expressions
Let me be the first to tweet about the 2018 earthquake.
Steve Martin
(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous
It daddied itself
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Said of a child that looks just like its father
The face of a child can say it all… especially the mouth part of the face.
Miscellaneous
I'm out like a fat girl stealing second.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Basket name
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Pet name of a child prior to Christening
If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
She Broken My Heart, So I Broke His Jaw
Various artists
Miscellaneous
Written by Dan Simons & Jason Maffucci
Eddie: Mother, are you still on the computer?Gran: Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can’t get out.
June Whitfield
(1925 – ) English actress
Miscellaneous
As Gran in “Absolutely Fabulous”
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
Bertolt Brecht
(1898 – 1956) German poet, playwright & theater director
Miscellaneous
I’m going to paint your back porch red if you keep talkin like that!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A spanking
A threat
Other expressions
Nervous as a cow with a bucktooth calf.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Nervous
Other expressions
We in the short rows.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Almost finished
Other expressions
One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.
Miscellaneous
Mites stay on a chicken’s ass.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
When someone says they “might”
I said to my wife, ‘Guess what I heard in the pub? … They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in this road except one’ and she said, ‘I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Phyllis at number 23.’
Max Kaufman
typographer
Miscellaneous
Fell down cup over kettle.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Fell
Other expressions
Tripped
He’s so ugly, he’s gotta sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I’m gonna tan yer hide!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A spanking
Other expressions
Going ninety to nothin'
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Busy
Fast
Other expressions
Page 34 of 75
« First
« Previous
32
33
34
35
36
Next »
Last »