Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 35)

I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our ‘friend.’

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I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

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I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

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Bumpin’ yer gums!

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Ain’t got both oars in the water

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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with wooden stakes.

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Splendid couple—slept with both of them.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
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I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

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No, it’s liquid sunshine.

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Fix your plate.

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Sittin' on the bedpost.

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Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!

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Well, knock me down and call me 'Shorty'!

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You’re about as grateful as a toothache.

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Queen Of My Double-Wide Trailer

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Instead of building more bombs… let’s find more uses for the ones we already have.

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Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

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Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

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Tight as Dick’s hatband

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Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta, grow up.

Miscellaneous