Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 36)

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Miscellaneous

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

To “love on you”

Miscellaneous

If I lived back in the olden days, and the doctor put leeches on me, I’d tell him to put them on my face, in the shape of a beard, so I could see how I’d look.

Miscellaneous

Her tongue was tied in the middle and loose at both ends.

Miscellaneous

In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

Miscellaneous

She’s so poor she ain’t got two nickels to rub together.

Miscellaneous

Like a buzzard in a tree waiting for a mule to die

Miscellaneous

Give down the country.

Miscellaneous

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo, I’d have all my money back.

Miscellaneous

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Miscellaneous

Once I beat up the school bully with a baseball bat; both his arms were completely broken, which is what gave me the courage to do it.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

This ain’t the first time I’ve brought chicken to a fish fry.

Miscellaneous

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.

Miscellaneous

If I tell you that rooster dips snuff, you better check under his wing for the can.

Miscellaneous

Forty eleven

Miscellaneous

The ox is in the ditch.

Miscellaneous

If you’re an archaeologist, I bet it’s real embarrassing to put together a skull from a bunch of ancient bone fragments, but then it turns out it’s not a skull but just an old dried-out potato.

Miscellaneous

No bigger than the little end of nothin’ whittled down to a fine point.

Miscellaneous

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say “How do you figger that!” real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

Miscellaneous

A living testament to how low a studio will stoop to generate a few bucks.

writer, editor & film reviewer
Miscellaneous