Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 36)

Y'all stay the night. We don’t have extra beds, but I’m sure we can find a nail to hang you on.

Miscellaneous

As tall as a Georgia pine

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He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

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I wanted wine, women and song… I got a drunk woman singing.

(1967 – ) English comedian
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You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

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He wouldn't go to a funeral unless he could be the corpse.

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I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs… he wasn’t happy.

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He acts like he is 10 feet tall and bullet proof.

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Proud as a dog with a hemstitched tail

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Lower than a snake’s belly

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I used to carry a rabbit’s foot for luck… then it was a monkey’s paw.. now it’s a camel’s toe.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
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Looks like you came to a goat’s house for wool!

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Going ninety to nothin'

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I organized my stuff and put it in boxes… then I put labels on each of the boxes; now I have a box full of razor blades labeled “Plan B.”

American comedian
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Ducktown,  Tennessee

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Hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.

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I do all I can… and the easy ones twice.

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Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

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Happy as a hog in slop.

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The overhead projector has done more to destroy learning than any other thing I can think of.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
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I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it’s understood that you mean lengthwise loaves; otherwise, it makes no sense.

Miscellaneous