Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 36)

Madder than’ a wampus cat

Miscellaneous

Peep of day

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I wouldn't give you air if you were in a jug.

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We’ve had to get a live-in nanny, ‘cos that dead one wasn’t working out.

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

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I went to see a hypnotist the other night and I really enjoyed myself, which made me suspicious…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

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I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

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A face like a well slapped ass.

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Like two peas in a pod.

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Boy, I will walk a mud hole in you and stomp it dry.

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Shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds.

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Leader Of The Laundromat

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I don’t chew my cabbage twice!

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I’m on it like cheese on grits!

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If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.

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Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.

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She’s so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

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I was much further out than you thought, and not waving but drowning.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
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Sorry as a two dollar watch.

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My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

Miscellaneous