Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 36)

That's the Irish people all over – they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Miscellaneous

The dinner bell is always in tune.

Miscellaneous

That was faster than green grass through a goose.

Miscellaneous

Cross my heart and hope to eat my weight in goslings.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Miscellaneous

Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice

Miscellaneous

Where you stay?

Miscellaneous

Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time.

Miscellaneous

I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

Miscellaneous

He's tougher than a two dollar steak.

Miscellaneous

Sittin’ on the amen corner

Miscellaneous

When I think of some of the things that have been done in the name of science, I have to cringe… no, wait, not science, vandalism; and not cringe, laugh.

Miscellaneous

How many people have never raised their hand before?

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Miscellaneous

Well, ain’t he just the tom-cat’s kitten?

Miscellaneous

Only if they don't work.

(Pauline Phillips) (1918 – 2013) American advice columnist
Miscellaneous

It would be better to dress him than to feed him.

Miscellaneous

I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and spinning around.

Miscellaneous

As full of wind as a corn-eating horse

Miscellaneous

One way I think you can tell if you have a curse on you is if you open a box of toothpicks and they all fly up and stick in your face.

Miscellaneous

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Miscellaneous

Slower than molasses in January

Miscellaneous

You’re like the dog that caught the car.

Miscellaneous