Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 36)

Imitation is the sincerest [form] of flattery.

(1780 – 1832) English cleric, writer & collector
Miscellaneous

One foot in the grave and another on a banana peel

Miscellaneous

He went after it whole hog.

Miscellaneous

Mites don’t fly this time of the year.

Miscellaneous

Give down the country.

Miscellaneous

I’m a psychic amnesiac… I know in advance what I’ll forget.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

Pull in your horns.

Miscellaneous

They scoffed when I told them I’d one day learn the secret of invisibility; if they could only see me now.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous

Gridlock Christmas

Miscellaneous

I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

Miscellaneous

I’d shake his hand, but I think that’s what’s holding up his pants.

(1961 – ) American comedian, actor & talk show host
Miscellaneous

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

Miscellaneous

Rehabilitation

Miscellaneous

Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

Miscellaneous

Oprah Winfrey has named her new $51 million estate ‘Tara 2,’ after Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation in Gone With The Wind; meanwhile, Sally Jessy Raphael has named her new estate Apartment 4B.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
Miscellaneous

Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.

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So tight you can hear him squeak when he walks

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The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

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Lower than a snake in a wagon track.

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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous