Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 37)
I’ll wear you out till your hide won’t hold shucks.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Discipline
Other expressions
You’re in big trouble
"shootin" horseshoes
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Pitching horseshoes
The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Size
Talk to the table.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Say the blessing or grace before the meal
Devil's beating his wife with a frying pan
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Rain
When it’s raining on a sunny day
He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Busy
Other expressions
Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.
Miscellaneous
She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
(not quite right)
Other expressions
I’m covered up.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Busy
Other expressions
Prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Pretty
Skinny as a rail
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Skinny
Thin
If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!
Miscellaneous
About as useful as buttons on a dishrag
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Useless
The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.
Bill DeWitt
(1902 – 1982) American professional baseball executive & club owner
Miscellaneous
Things
Bathtub
Telephone
Probably one of the worst things about being a genie in a magic lamp is a little thing called “lamp stench.”
Miscellaneous
She’s possum ugly.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Jesus Loves You But I Don’t
Almighty
Miscellaneous
Georgia buggy
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Wheelbarrow
I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!
Miscellaneous
Scripted down
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Recorded in writing
I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
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