Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 37)

I’ll wear you out till your hide won’t hold shucks.

Miscellaneous

"shootin" horseshoes

Miscellaneous

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

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Talk to the table.

Miscellaneous

Devil's beating his wife with a frying pan

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He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.

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Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Miscellaneous

She’s about a half a bubble off plumb.

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I’m covered up.

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Prettier than a spotted heifer in a pansy patch!

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Skinny as a rail

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If Alien was my friend, I'd like to be with him when he went to the dentist. When they started drilling, he'd probably go nuts and start eating everybody. That Alien!

Miscellaneous

About as useful as buttons on a dishrag

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The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875 … In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone.

(1902 – 1982) American professional baseball executive & club owner
Miscellaneous Things

Probably one of the worst things about being a genie in a magic lamp is a little thing called “lamp stench.”

Miscellaneous

She’s possum ugly.

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Jesus Loves You But I Don’t

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Georgia buggy

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I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

Miscellaneous

Scripted down

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I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.

Miscellaneous