Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 38)

Hangin’ in there like a hair in a biscuit.

Miscellaneous

There is only one immutable law in life – in a gentleman’s toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
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Like a duck looking for thunder.

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He lives in your neck of the woods.

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Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pine cone? … that way, he learns that ‘wishing’ isn’t going to save our national forests.

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Her tongue was tied in the middle and loose at both ends.

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Like a sow needs a sidesaddle

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Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.

(1930 – 1990) English journalist, author & media personality
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If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store.

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People will be able to see to Christmas.

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Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

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Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise

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I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? … A pickpocket snatches watches.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
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Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

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Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed.

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Like they do in Alabama

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I feel bad for the guys who did steroids and still suck.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
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I’m fixin’ to show you what a whuppin’ is all about!

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Once bread is toast, it can't be bread again.

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Ain’t got both oars in the water

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