Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 39)

You weigh up the pros and cons and try to put them into chronological order.

Miscellaneous

I Can’t Get Over You, So Why Don’t You Get Under Me?

Miscellaneous Song Titles

I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: “Why is it so dark in here?”

(1948 – ) English novelist
Miscellaneous

That's like putting a side saddle on a boar hog!

Miscellaneous

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.

Miscellaneous

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Miscellaneous

What are all these “other dimensions” I keep hearing about? … to me, there’s only one dimension worth anything, and that’s the good ole U.S. of A.

Miscellaneous

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

Cow Imagination

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Full of piss and vinegar

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As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party

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If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, what a Merry Christmas we’d have.

Miscellaneous

His front porch light is burnt out.

Miscellaneous

Confucius say… no time for your health today; no health for your time tomorrow.

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People in hell want ice water, but that don’t mean they get it.

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If [such and such happens] then it’s gonna be too wet to plow.

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“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

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She’s so poor she ain’t got two nickels to rub together.

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Don’t pay it no never mind.

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You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

Miscellaneous