Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 4)

I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

That girl’s meaner than cuss!

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Like an old hen with one chick

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Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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One foot in the grave and another on a banana peel

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I’m not sure I want to get the nickname “The Love Machine,” because how does that affect my nickname now, which is “The Lawn-Cutting Machine?”

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Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

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He don’t know daylight from dark.

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She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

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One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don’t run with wooden stakes.

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You Done The Wrong Woman Wrong

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Got your feathers ruffled.

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In my opinion anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out becoming pure energy.

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If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, “Can’t you make it shoot farther?” “No, I’m sorry. That’s as far as it shoots.”

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Here’s a good joke to do during an earthquake: Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go “Whoa! Whoa!” and flail your arms around, like you’re going to fall in.

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I feel like I was et by a coyote and shit over a cliff.

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The ox is in the ditch.

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Natural enough to eat pie

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Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, “Are you just going to sit around like that all day?”

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
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I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Miscellaneous Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

It’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have trouble with it.

Miscellaneous