Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 41)

Skinny as a bean pole.

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Not blessed with beauty…

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With every new sunrise, there is a new chance. But with every sunset, you blew it.

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It’s so good, it makes you want to slap your momma!

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He don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.

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Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

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I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

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She could talk the leg off a horse.

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Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back… NOW who’s asking the questions?

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It's not easy to cut through a human head with a hacksaw.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter
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Toad choker/frog strangler

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Finer than frog's hair

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When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

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People need to realize that every time they talk about how “fragile” our planet is, it’s just like asking outer-space aliens to come invade us.

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You can’t make a souffle rise twice.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
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Hip: Smartly attuned to the latest cutting-edge cliches.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Miscellaneous

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life; was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling?

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Can’t hear thunder

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Like a peach-orchard bull

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Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

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You're a dime holdin’ up a dollar.

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